Your friend has had a hard month. Your coworker is buried in work. You want to ask how they're doing, but "How are you?" gets the automatic "Fine." These questions go one step deeper, and the answers people give are usually honest.
The best one is "How are you holding up?" It says "I know things are hard" before the other person says anything. Other questions ask about the cause ("What's stressing you out?") or what helps ("What do you do to relax?"). On the other side, the answers are short and very common. "I'm hanging in there" means "It's hard, but I'm OK." You'll hear it everywhere.
Phrases
a direct, simple question
"how are you" when you know things are hard
asking about the cause
a gentle guess about the cause
asking if a hard time is improving
asking what helps them
offering time to rest
an honest, short "yes"
it's hard, but I'm OK
too many things at once
the hard time is improving
sharing what calms you down
Say it out loud
Tap a sentence to hear it. Say it after the voice.
Practice · 3 min
Ask or answer. Situation on the left, one natural line on the right.
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Say it today
Use it once in a real conversation before tomorrow. Out loud counts, even to yourself.