The moment

Ananya and George share an off-campus apartment in Chicago with a third roommate. It's their second month, and the sink is full of dishes again. Ananya wants to fix it without a fight. Listen for how she starts softly, how George gets a little defensive, and the small plan they agree on.

The conversation

AnanyaGeorge
  1. Ananya
  2. George
  3. Ananya
  4. George
  5. Ananya
  6. George
  7. Ananya
  8. George
  9. Ananya
  10. George
  11. Ananya
  12. George
  13. Ananya
  14. George

Words to know

a soft start before a serious topic

keep growing into a bigger and bigger pile

you agree the idea is reasonable

casual yes to a plan or an offer

thanks someone for not getting upset

Check yourself

1Why does Ananya say "Do you have a minute?"
2How does George feel when Ananya mentions the dishes?
3What do they agree to do?

Practice · 3 min

Round one: repeat every line. Round two: mute George and answer Ananya; start a little defensive, then relax on "OK, that's fair." Round three: mute Ananya and practice raising a problem gently. Keep "Do you have a minute?" soft and slow. Then think of one shared space in your life, and say one line that starts with "Could we...?"

  1. AnanyaHey, George. Do you have a minute?
  2. GeorgeSure. What's up?
  3. AnanyaIt's the kitchen. The dishes keep piling up.
  4. GeorgeThose aren't all mine, you know.
  5. AnanyaI know. Mine are in there too. Sorry.
  6. GeorgeHonestly, I think it's all three of us.
  7. AnanyaRight. So could we make a chore chart?
  8. GeorgeLike a list on the fridge?
  9. AnanyaYeah. Dishes, trash and bathroom. We switch every week.
  10. GeorgeOK, that's fair. Whose turn is it first?
  11. AnanyaI'll take dishes this week. You take the trash?
  12. GeorgeDeal. And let's tell Nguyen tonight.
  13. AnanyaGood idea. Thanks for being cool about it.
  14. GeorgeNo problem. The sink was getting scary.

Say it today

Use it once in a real conversation before tomorrow. Out loud counts, even to yourself.