The moment

Ananya meant to send a quick private comment to her teammate Jake about a client's new deadline. She hit reply all instead, and the client was copied. She walks over to Jake's desk, a little pale. Listen for how Jake calms things down: he doesn't pretend it's nothing, and he doesn't make it bigger. Listen too for the difference between apologizing for what you said and apologizing for how it sounded.

The conversation

AnanyaJake
  1. Ananya
  2. Jake
  3. Ananya
  4. Jake
  5. Ananya
  6. Jake
  7. Ananya
  8. Jake
  9. Ananya
  10. Jake
  11. Ananya
  12. Jake
  13. Ananya
  14. Jake
  15. Ananya

Words to know

send your answer to everyone on the email

be included on an email so you can see it

the impression your words give to other people

a careful, complete message that replaces a rough one

check something quickly for someone

Check yourself

1Why is Ananya worried?
2Why does Jake advise against an "ignore my last email" message?
3What will Ananya apologize for?

Practice · 4 min

Play each line and repeat it in the gap. Then take Jake's part with his lines muted and answer Ananya in your own words. Notice how "I wouldn't" is a full piece of advice on its own: calm, short, and clear.

  1. AnanyaJake, do you have a minute? I think I've made a mistake with an email.
  2. JakeSure. What happened? You look like you've seen a ghost.
  3. AnanyaI meant to reply only to you, but I hit reply all.
  4. JakeOkay. Who was on the thread?
  5. AnanyaOur whole team, and the client from the Shenzhen office was copied too.
  6. JakeAh. What did the email say, exactly?
  7. AnanyaThat their new deadline is unrealistic, and we'll need at least two more weeks.
  8. JakeHonestly, that's not terrible. It's blunt, but it's true.
  9. AnanyaShould I send another message asking everyone to ignore my last one?
  10. JakeI wouldn't. That only makes people go back and read it twice.
  11. AnanyaSo what do I do? Pretend it never happened?
  12. JakeSend the client a proper version today, with dates and a reason for the delay.
  13. AnanyaAnd maybe apologize for how it came across, not for what it said.
  14. JakeExactly. Forward me the draft before you send it, and I'll take a look.
  15. AnanyaThanks. From now on, I'm checking who's copied before I hit send.

Say it today

Use it once in a real conversation before tomorrow. Out loud counts, even to yourself.