And, but, or, so

The rule, as people use it

Four small words join most of what people say. "And" adds. "But" turns against what came before. "Or" gives a choice. "So" gives the result. "I was hungry, so I made a sandwich." "It's cheap, but it's far." With these four you can link almost any two ideas without stopping.

In speech, people start sentences with them all the time. "So, what happened next?" "And then the power went out." "But that's the thing." This is normal, and it keeps a story moving. You'll also hear "yet" as a stronger "but", mostly in writing and news.

For two-part choices, English uses pairs. "Both ... and" means the two things together: "Both Kavya and Chen are coming." "Either ... or" means one of two: "We can either walk or take a taxi." "Neither ... nor" means not this and not that: "Neither of them called." In daily speech, most people say "not ... or" instead of "neither ... nor": "I don't eat meat or fish."

The mix-up to watch is between the pairs. It's "either ... or" and "neither ... nor", so "neither tea or coffee" is a slip. And don't put "so" and "because" in the same sentence. "Because it rained, so we stayed in" says the reason twice. Pick one: "It rained, so we stayed in."