The moment

It's a coworker's birthday at an office in Berlin, and Elif has baked a lemon cake for the team. Arjun has been cutting back on sugar, and saying no to homemade cake feels rude. Listen for how he turns it down kindly, how Elif catches herself pushing, and the plan they find that works for both of them.

The conversation

ElifArjun
  1. Elif
  2. Arjun
  3. Elif
  4. Arjun
  5. Elif
  6. Arjun
  7. Elif
  8. Arjun
  9. Elif
  10. Arjun
  11. Elif
  12. Arjun

Words to know

casual: won't cause a problem

you realize you pressured someone and say sorry

you're free to say no

cover food in paper or foil to take away

thanks for understanding my situation

Check yourself

1Why does Arjun say no to the cake at first?
2What does Elif mean by "No pressure at all"?
3How do they solve the problem?

Practice · 4 min

Round one: repeat every line. Round two: mute Arjun and say no to the cake yourself, warm first ("It looks amazing") and then clear. Round three: mute Elif and practice backing off politely: "Sorry, I didn't mean to push. No pressure at all."

  1. ElifArjun, you have to try this. I made the lemon cake myself this morning.
  2. ArjunIt looks amazing, Elif. I'm actually trying to cut back on sugar this month.
  3. ElifOh, come on, one little slice won't hurt. It's Wei's birthday.
  4. ArjunI know, and I feel bad saying no. You've clearly put a lot of work into it.
  5. ElifSorry, I didn't mean to push. No pressure at all.
  6. ArjunIt's fine, really. And to be honest, I've already fallen off the wagon twice this week.
  7. ElifSo what's the plan? Have you cut it out completely?
  8. ArjunNot completely. I'm not strict about it. I treat myself on the weekends.
  9. ElifThen take a piece home for Saturday. I'll wrap it up for you.
  10. ArjunThat's perfect. And I'll grab a coffee and stay for the party now.
  11. ElifGood. Wei would notice if you disappeared back to your desk.
  12. ArjunThanks for getting it, Elif. That slice is going to be the best part of my weekend.

Say it today

Use it once in a real conversation before tomorrow. Out loud counts, even to yourself.