When you need this

A friend calls late at night, or sits down across from you and can't start the sentence. Their partner has been cheating on them. You don't need details, and it's kinder not to ask for them. Your job is to be steady: to make your friend feel less alone and less ashamed.

Three things help most. Say you're sorry, and mean it. Say it isn't their fault, because people who've been betrayed often blame themselves first. And take the pressure off decisions: "You don't have to decide anything tonight." Big choices about the marriage can wait until your friend has slept and eaten.

A few lines feel natural but hurt. "I never liked him anyway" makes your friend defend their own choices. "Are you going to leave her?" asks for a decision they can't make yet. "I told you so" is never the right line. If your friend is struggling for weeks, gently suggest talking to a counselor. It's a caring idea, not a sign that you're tired of listening.

Phrases

be secretly unfaithful to your partner

learn something that was hidden

sympathy and support in one line

the person is not to blame

there's no hurry

no big choices yet

let your friend choose what helps

you support your friend completely

a practical, caring question

an offer of a safe place to sleep

the belief that someone is honest with you

get help from a trained professional

Say it out loud

Tap a sentence to hear it. Say it after the voice.

Practice · 3 min

Say the line that fits. Situation on the left, one natural line on the right.

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Say it today

Use it once in a real conversation before tomorrow. Out loud counts, even to yourself.