When you need this

Sooner or later a coworker will make your job harder. They miss handoffs, they talk loudly on calls next to you, or your part of the work shows up in their slides without your name. Complaining about them to everyone else feels good for ten minutes and costs you for months. Gossip travels, and it usually reaches the person with your name attached.

There's a fairer way. If you talk to another coworker, ask for advice, not agreement, and stick to what happened rather than what the person is like. "The file was late three times this month" is a fact someone can help with. "He's lazy" is a judgment nobody can fix. Then, most of the time, the best step is to talk to the person directly, in private, and describe the effect on you. Take it to a manager only if that doesn't work, and bring the facts with you.

Phrases

opens a private, careful conversation

shows you want a solution, not a complaint session

shows it's a pattern, not one bad day

describes the effect on your work

keeps the problem in proportion

leaves room for the other side of the story

checks whether others see the same thing, without accusing

speak to the person, not about them

asks the coworker for a quiet conversation

describes an event and its effect, without blaming

take the problem to someone with authority

Say it out loud

Tap a sentence to hear it. Say it after the voice.

Practice · 3 min

Say the line that fits. Situation on the left, one natural line on the right.

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Say it today

Use it once in a real conversation before tomorrow. Out loud counts, even to yourself.